7 weeks in

1:09p

I am 7 weeks into my hair journey.

So far it has been exhilarating, frustrating and exciting. It helps that my best friend is embarking with me {though she is natural}, because I have someone to talk to and help me through my set backs.

I have always had a decent length to my hair but for the past few years, have noticed thinning and major breakage. I wish I could say, seven weeks in, that I've seen incredible progress. But I haven't.

Length is not my goal right now. I'm just hoping to obtain health and that the length will automatically follow. I'm definitely seeing the added moisture now that I've been deep conditioning regularly. I also may not be able to see much progress because I had a minor {major} set back last week that left me a little disillusioned about this whole process.

I realize that patience and diligence play a major role in this process and that goals aren't obtained overnight.

Next week will be my 8th week since my last relaxer {texlax} and I'm trying to decide the best time to texlax again. I've always {though inadvertently} stretched my relaxers as I'm both lazy and cheap! My last relaxer stretch was my longest at 4 months.

Now that I am conditioning my new growth, I believe that I will be able to stretch much longer without the breakage and tangling I experienced on my last {inadvertent} stretch.

I'll have to play this one by ear. I'll be on the search for a new relaxer as well. I would love to just apply a texturizer, but I'm not sure what the effects would be since parts of my hair are fully relaxed and also texlaxed.

That's the thing with this hair journey. I don't think I will ever get there. There is always going to be something new to discover. Some new product to try. Some setback that will need resolution.

It's exhilarating, frustrating and exciting.

Hair Today

1:00pm

Last night I decided to do a bantu knot out. After watching so many youtube videos yesterday, I wanted some curls without using heat or rollers.

This is the result today. The left side {my problem side} didn’t hold the curls as good as the right, so I did an up do and it turned out really nice.

I broke one of my rules about wearing pony tails yesterday. When I took out the rubber band {huge no-no}, there were broken hairs attached to it. I’m back on the no ponytail rule. I understand how the mistreatment of my hair can really set me back.

So tomorrow, I plan to deep condition using the Elasta QP DPR-11 and EVOO mixture. My hair craves moisture and as easy as it is for me to go a full week between deep conditioning, I have to give my hair what it needs at this crucial time. I think deep conditioning twice a week to start will allow my hair to thrive at a time when it’s been so unhealthy.

I’m still looking for a really good leave-in. I have recently discovered Elasta QP H Two leave-in. On my next trip, I may purchase this. For now, I’m using Infusium 23 leave-in and I have no complaints so far.

Aussie Deeeeep 3 Minute Miracle

11:16a

I have to say. This product toots it's own horn. It claims that it will turn dry, brittle hair into hydrated heaven. That's a heavy claim.

But it was 100% true. I was at walmart and saw this on the shelf. I'd heard about it for awhile now and had been wanting to try it, but always forgot to look for it when I was on one of my sprees. Well, at $3.33, I absolutely could not pass this product up.

I used it on my daughter's hair first, as she was just coming out of twists. She needed something to really moisturize her hair. The slip was great, I could tell that from the first dollop I put on her hair. I let it sit for longer than 3 minutes on her hair, because baby girl's hair was dry.

After washing it out, her hair LOOKED moisturized. I followed it up with her normal leave-in and moisturizer. This morning, her hair is really soft. It doesn't have the definition it normal has, but her hair is definitely quenched.

Last night, I decided to wash my hair because of my fiasco last week, I wanted to make sure to add as much moisture as possible to my hair.

First I clarified with V05 to make sure all the product was out. I wanted to reap the full benefits of the Aussie Deeeeep 3 Minute Miracle. After washing, I applied the Aussie, making sure I got my edges and my ends very well. I twisted it and clipped it out of the way while I did my other showerly duties. It was longer than 3 minutes in the end. Maybe 10 at the most.

When I started to wash out the conditioner, it seriously felt like my hair had melted. It felt so moist and soft that I almost cried right there. It was hydrated heaven!

After the shower, I put the t-shirt on to soak up the water and then applied my rollers. My big mistake was that I didn't dry my hair because I was lazy and wanted to watch the BET awards, so my hair was still wet this morning. Even still, I could tell it was moisturized.

A few moments ago, I let my hair out of the wet bun I'd put it into this morning and it fell so nicely on my shoulders and it feels so soft that I can't stop touching it.

This product is the business.

It has a very nice smell as well. I will definitely keep this as a staple in my regimen {whatever that is now!}

Rookie Mistake

9:32a

So I made a huge rookie mistake. And I probably would have never figured it out were it not for my best friend stepping in and knocking some sense into my head.

I overloaded on protein. Yes, protein is a permed woman's friend, but only in moderation. Protein is like one of those friends who you love when you haven't seen in ages. But if they are around constantly, they get on your nerves! I know I'm not the only one with a friend like that.

Anyway, my hair was brittle. So fragile. If the wind blew too hard my hair was breaking off. I've probably done a lot of damage and it will take some time to correct, but I'm glad I realized my error early enough.


What was my error, you ask? I was co-washing with several cheapy conditioners, all of which were light protein conditioners. Me, being oblivious to this fact, notices my breaking hair and assumes that breakage means my hair is weak so it must need strength. Intro my deep protein conditioner. So I've been doing that all week, only doing daily moisturizing and sealing, thinking I would do the deep conditioner on the weekend as I normally do.


My hair was really bad. So yesterday, I had to stop by the beauty supply store and grab me something to fix my problem. I grabbed this:



Elasta DPR-11. It cost about $7, but the way my hair was, it was more than worth it to find something that would breathe some life back into my hair. I'd previously heard very good things about this product and wanted to give it a try. I had been previously using Dr. Miracles Tingling Scalp deep conditioner. That worked great, but I knew I needed something heavy duty to combat my thirsty strands. Most reviews that I read, people added EVOO, honey, or other things to up the power of this deep conditioner. I would have added EVOO but we were out and I didn't add honey because I was in a rush to get it on my hair. So I used it by itself.

The consistency is thick and has a mild fragrance that I found very pleasant. I needed something thick so this worked perfectly. I sectioned my hair into four areas and applied pretty liberally from root to tip, really focusing on my ends and the middle of my strands. I covered with a plastic cap and then wrapped it in a scarf to keep the heat in since I don't have a hooded dryer. I let it sit on for about 2 1/2 hours while I bathed the girls and read a book.


I showered and rinsed and I could immediately feel a difference. My hair felt moisturized and soft and immediately nourished. As I finger combed my hair, I did notice a lot of breakage, but I'm attributing it to the damage that was already done.


This morning, my hair is very moisturized and it looks a lot healthier than it did yesterday. I know the process will be a little longer for me to get my hair into shape but I'm in it for the long haul. My little set back had me thinking of quitting, but again my best friend stepped in and told me to keep going.


So my plan of action as is follows:

• Deep condition 2x a week with Elasta QP DPR-11
• Absolutely no ponytails
• Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize
• Low manipulation hair styles {I'm still working on a non pony low manip style}

So this morning, with those rules in mind, I threw my pony tail holder to the side and did a style that required no tight pulling of my hair and also protects my ends at the same time. I forget where I saw this style, but basically you moisturize your ends very well, fold your pony {without the holder} over, tucking the ends inside and pull the two sides over your ends and then clip. I'm pretty sure that explanation was confusing, I'll search for the inspiration to this style. I'm loving it as my hair is off my shoulders and my ends are protected. Even better, no pony tail holder breaking my hair!

RIP MJ

August 29, 1958 – June 25, 2009

Frustrated

4:24p

I'm frustrated.

My hair is acting up. It's shriveled. It's breaking off. It's tangling. It's knoting up. It's dead. And I have no idea how to revive it.

I'm going to cut my hair, probably to shoulder length and start over.

Maybe I'm in over my head with caring for my own hair. Maybe my knowledge base isn't deep enough yet.

I haven't figured out what I'm doing to make my hair hate me this way, but hopefully I can fix whatever the issue is.

My hair is super finickey right now.

Leave In

11:37a

I know I'm really late on this, but I am amazed!

Using a RINSE OUT conditioner as a LEAVE in conditioner! I tried it last night and it is truly and genuinely, incredible.

This morning, my hair is soft and bouncy and not to mention it smells wonderful! I applied a cheapo conditioner {VO5 Moisture Milk - on sale at CVS for $0.77!} to dry hair and worked through with some squirts of water. I paid close attention to my new growth because I had previously done a rod set on my hair and it was sooooo tangled. Single strand knots galore and other large knots that basically ripped my hair straight out.

Anyway, after I applied the VO5, I rinsed it out in the shower and applied Garnier Fructis Moisture Works and let that sit while I preformed my other showerly duties. I rinsed it out and wrapped my hair in a t-shirt {to draw out the water without the roughness of a towel} and applied a pretty liberal amount of the Garnier Fructis Moisture Works all over my hair, from root to tip.

This morning, despite the fact that my hair didn't even attempt to dry overnight, my hair has body, is moisturized and very soft. I did a twist out and the definition of the twists is incredible!

So, from now on, I will be leaving rinse out conditioner in!

Making Sense of it All

12:49p

I've never been one who is good at handling life when life happens. I'm analytical. I have to analyze everything. I have to make sense of things before I can even begin to deal with anything.

This past weekend in my life has been one of the most jarring and most life altering weekends in my life. I've learned how valuable life is and how much I need to protect the things closest to me. I think I've led a pretty sheltered life. And that's the life I want to give my daughters.

I want them to learn lessons, but I don't want them to be exposed to this world and all the evil that lays in wait for them.

I am grateful that things weren't worse. And in turn, I have motivation to make things different. To challenge things that I can't live with rather than staying quiet and suffering silently.

That is what life does. It changes you and shapes you. As I grow older, I feel so much wiser than I did even a short year ago.

I can't say that I enjoyed every step of the way, but I did learn so much on my journey so far.

Excuses

3:31p

I am full of them.

I used to work well under pressure. When it was down to the wire. When I had to produce or else.

That doesn't work so well for me now. Things begin to crumble around me due to my procrastination and inability to DO instead of thinking about doing. Not literally, mind you. I have been maintaining and keeping things in order in my life. But my head --my mental that is-- is in shambles.

One side of my brain is thinking about this grad school application that I need to finish --I'm a writer--so why is the essay so hard for me to complete? And this so-called novel? Will I ever type those two sweet words --the end?

When it comes to me and the things I want to do, I tend to have an extremely hard time getting done. My mind clouds up and seizes like an epileptic.

I'm not quite sure how to pull myself out of this rut that I'm in when it comes to chasing my dreams. Hopefully I'll figure it out.

I've given myself until September 1 for both things -- application {only because it's due on that date!} and novel {first draft}

Wish me luck.

Oh and by the way-- those hands? Those are mine. Typing neither grad school essay nor novel.

Flat Hair

10:03a

So I was looking at my last post and how utterly FLAT my pony tail looked. It looked really sad and depressing. So, I had to fix that. After about a week of trying different twist outs and bantu knot outs on my pony, nothing was working. It was still FLAT.

I discovered two things. I was using waaay too much castor oil that was causing my hair to be limp and to have no life. And two, the twist outs just weren't working.

So yesterday, with money in my pocket to burn, I headed to the store to pick up some things to resolve the issue.

I got :

All I have to say about this stuff is that it is AMAZING. After I did my deep protein condition and my deep moisturizing condition, I added this and man, my hair felt like SILK. I even used it on my daughter this morning and her hair was shining and laying down and obeying for once! This will most likely be my new staple. It cost me $4.49, but I think my local beauty suppy store is a tab bit expensive, so I know I can probably find it elsewhere for a little less.

AND

I have NEVER used rollers. Except for when I was like 11 and my mother used them on my hair for a family picture. And it was a diaster that is forever memorialized. So needless to say, rollers have been off my radar. But as I was perusing the aisles yesterday, something drew me to the wall of rollers. I pondered for maybe five to ten minutes what size and shape to get. I settled on these, because I tend to like a tighter curl and liked that these didn't have that little snap thing that leaves a bump in your hair {i.e. family picture hair fiasco of 1996}. Now I know nothing about doing hair or rollers or what anything is for. I dont know the difference between a regular roller and cold rods. All I know is they cost a buck and if my hair turned out bad, only one dollar was down the drain.

Well, my hair turned out fabulous. The curls are soft, bouncy and tight. I know that over the next few days, they will fall beautifully. I almost can't wait to see what they look like tomorrow.

Now I have to go back and get some more cold rods so that I can try this all over my head and not just in my pony tail.

Never Ending Hair Care

10:29a

For years, I left my hair care up to the professionals. For my perms, for my trims {sometimes cuts} and for general maintenance.

It's no wonder that I was clueless. I never educated myself on hair care. On what my hair needed to thrive. I have done a number to my hair since moving to Philly. I'm a little salon shy and going to get my hair done here was very daunting to me. In NC it was easy. I had about three places to pick from. Here, the options are endless and I was scared. What if I picked a bad place. A dirty place. An exorbitantly expensive place.

Picking a salon has always been a task that I'd rather avoid. I still have yet to go get my hair done professionally here in Philly and I am now armed with a list of recommendations from people who get their hair done on the regular.

It took me over a year to find a place in NC that I liked. So hope is not lost on me. I know now, however, that frequent salon trips are not necessary. I'll go once in awhile for a trim and because I want to pamper myself. But I think I will continue to texlax at home, I'd prefer my under processed hair at home to over processed hair at the salon.
The difference between now and then is that I know the steps to take to care for my hair.

Last night, my hair was begging to be washed. And I obliged. I bought a new clarifying shampoo, that I desperately needed. Clarifying is incredible. My hair felt so clean. I had been co-washing for the past 3 weeks {since my texlax} and my hair was very moisturized but there was too much built up product. I did a bantu knot out, but my hair didnt dry, so I pulled it back into a pony and let the rest air dry {the pic above}.

I'm learning as I go. Things such as how much product to use. Less is definitely more. And that my hair craves protein. I didn't do a protein deep conditioner last night and I could feel the difference. I'm back on the protein next week.

Hair is difficult. I can't lie. The thing with the hair care journey, is that I have to find what works for my hair and stick with it. I'm more than confident that I will see progress.

Addicted to Washing

9:11a

I love washing my hair.

I used to HATE washing my hair. It was a chore and I dreaded the wash days. To be honest, I didn't wash my hair much. I was taught that you should only wash your hair 2-3 times per month. To wash it more than that was to strip it of it's natural {yeah right!} moisture and the hair would experience breakage and dryness. SO FALSE! I wish I had known.

Black women and hair is such a touchy subject. Everyone has a different opinion. For years I thought I was doing right by my hair, by not washing it often, keeping it bone straight with relaxers, piling on products day after day and wrapping it one way {to the left} every single night.

My hair revolted. But it is thanking me now.

I washed last night, after putting it off all weekend and my hair sighed happily as the protein strengthened it and then the deep conditioner added much needed moisture. I slept in bantu knots, hoping that it dry by morning. It didn't, but I just threw it back into a bun. The beauty of washing and air drying my hair is that, it's no biggie if it doesn't dry or gets wet in the rain. I love that.

So now, I have clean, moisturized hair. My next mission is to figure out how to wear my hair straight and down without using heat. The research never ends.

Accessorizing

10:16a

If there is one thing I am terrible at, it's accessorizing. Be it my hair, my ears or my wrist. I'm a simple person and I like simple accessories. In light of that fact, I'm on a mission to find accessories that are just that. Simple, classic, elegant.

I love this head band from Kohl's for $6.00. This could really dress up a twist out and at the same time hide raggedy edges!

I'd never thought I'd like anything that was faux reptile, but I find myself in love with this one from Forever 21. And for only $2.80, you can get all the colors. Black, brown, yellow, and pink.

These floral suede headbands from Kohl's are simple and classic but can easily add interest to a bun or a slicked back pony. And at $6.00, they're a pretty good value too.

Maybe it's just me, but I always like to have a few of these on hand. When I'm wearing my hair out, it tends to get out of control at times. I always have an extra clip at the bottom of my bag for those times. And with classic, simple lines and at $3.99 at Walgreens, these would be perfect in those occasions. I think these clips are very interesting. Adding interest to a style doesn't have to be hard. From Aldo for $4.98, these headbands instantly add detail.

I love the simplicity of this head band from Aldo {$4.98}. The red really pops.Now this headband is fancy. From designer Eugenia Kim, this headband isn't cheap at $99, but if it isn't elegant, I don't know what is.

And finally, this pink flower from Forever 21 {2.80} is an understated way to spruce up a bun. I love this and it screams summer!
I don't wear much in my hair by way of accessories, but these things have gotten me rethinking that. Summer is coming up and I'll be wearing protective styles to retain length and moisture. Buns can get boring, but with a few accessories, I can change up my look and keep it interesting.

My need for Protein

8:19a

I had a revelation last night. It shouldn't have been a revelation. It should have been extremely obvious to me, but it wasn't.

My hair is weak. And I'm losing a lot of it every time I comb, run my fingers through it or when the wind blows it too hard. My comb had an embarrassing amount of hair in it last night. I thought it may be shedding, but I believe it's breakage.

Years of relaxers and not enough moisture, has left my hair thirsty and tired. It can't even hold up to the stress of being detangled.

So, in order to fix this problem, I've decided to incorporate a weekly deep protein conditioner to my regimen. I have Organics Hair Mayonnaise by Africa's Best :

I used this before and after my texlax, but I think that my hair is so protein deficient, that it may need it on a weekly basis for awhile.

My plan is to apply this to my dry hair and either sleep overnight with it { just to make sure that I reap the full benefits of it} and then cowash it out and follow up with Dr. Miracle's Tingling Deep Conditioner for 60 minutes with heat.

I read an article recently that really helped me understand the balance between protein and moisture. I feel a little more knowledgeable about what my hair will do and feel like when it needs one or the other {or both}. The article was very helpful, so as I learn, I'm determined to share the knowledge.

Here's the link to the article - http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/278612/the_fine_art_of_protein_and_moisture.html?cat=69

Taking care of hair is definitely a fine art.

What in the world is a texlax?

9:42a

I had never heard of texlaxing until my best friend, in her research, stumbled upon it and passed the info on to me.

Texlaxing is basically under processing your hair while doing a chemical treatment {aka: perm or relaxer}.

What's the point? Well, the point is that you don't take your hair to the absolute edge of it's life. The relaxer removes the natural wave pattern {i.e., kinkiness} from the hair, which leaves the hair weak and pretty much lifeless. Texlaxing relaxes the hair slightly, enough to where it is manageable.

I did some research and found out the best way to texlax {for me} is to add oil to the relaxer so that it slows down the processing of the relaxer. I added maybe a teaspoon or two of oil to the relaxer and applied as normal. It allowed me to leave the relaxer on as long as I normally do {possibly even longer} and still not over process my hair. When I washed out the relaxer, my new growth still was wavy, but not as tight and tangled. Because of this, my hair feels stronger and looks a lot healthier than it normally would right after a relaxer.

I have to say that I am hooked on texlaxing. I'm one week post and I'm not sure at this point if I will be stretching {as stretching reduces the frequency of the chemical treatment}, but I am loving my hair. I'm sure my hair is appreciating me right about now too!



{texlaxed hair in a twist out style}

Length and Goals

9:25a

An important part of this journey is to document. Not only what I'm using and doing, but also in photos, so that I can review months and years down the line and see actual progress {or backtracking!}.

This picture was taken after my most recent {and first!}texlax. My hair was twisted and air dried.

{Ignore the big side of my face...I'm still learning to take decent picture with my phone!} Focus on the length.


My hair is a decent length starting off, but I have goals that don't necessarily involve length at this point. I am mostly concerned about the health of my hair. Since moving to Philadelphia {almost a year ago!}, I have severely neglected and abused my hair. This neglect has resulted in my hair revolting back against me. There is a war going on my head! My hair's weapons of choice being severe breakage, split ends and all around dryness.

So, I'm fighting back. I'm trying to grow stronger hair, thicken my hair and reduce breakage. My arsenal consists of deep conditioning with protein every week followed by a moisturizing deep conditioner with a good moisturizing conditioner. I also am moisturizing with a water based moisturizer and sealing with Castor oil daily.

I'm hoping these things will add up to my hair being enviable!

HAIR HAIR HAIR

9:16a

Recently, my best friend and I, have embarked on a hair journey of sorts. We've researched and we've bought products. She even chopped all her hair off to start her journey all natural!

I chickened out and only texlaxed my hair. However, that still doesn't mean that chemically treated hair still can't be healthy hair!

So right now I am one week post my texlaxer and I'm loving the strength that I'm experiencing from moisturizing and sealing daily. I'm also seeing the difference when I'm not using any heat on my hair. Air drying is more than I ever thought it would be.

I'm also embarking on the journey with my daughters as well. I hope to document the progess of the health of my hair as well as theirs.

It's so odd. I've been battling my hair my whole life and now I'm finally embracing it. I'm excited for the journey!